lookinq back , damn .

lookinq back at my old free hand writinqs i used to write back in 2008 , and damn . like read this :

 [USEd UMbReLLA .* ]

"you use me when you needed it . grae rainy day , it was . but right here , you threw me after you was through with me ; no longer a new um[B] r [E] [L] [ L] [a] . A thought ; it came to ya head like a knock on the door ; after coming through you decided ; you didn;t need me ;the umbrella, no more. [used] one night is all it [ took ]. one minute of pleasure was all it [hooked]one missed.period ; to kill the unlived life , i took . All the rest of her life , likethis she was booked . many girls , as well . are opened and closed of there  horrid pages ; stirfried and cooked. going back ; you more then my umbrella . i was your meal for the night . you ate my meat , and threw my bones . well its what you wanted , so there have it. after all you didn't care . and neither did Bella . night after night , bar guys after booze . Depression took place of her abuse . Him , alcohol to pigs to pussy cigs more amuse now days he addictd' , he can;t blink with out getting . intruded ; drugs stashed where he could , more pussy and now more weed. that ain't a life , son . still ya heart poorly in compressing , out depressing , hun . as your lungs can take in no more fun . ya throat , nose , more, bleeding . from all the sniffing , and coughing . brain so high , your vision is fucked ; so where;s the bed ? only thought in his head . as ya other short straight "foot " takes ya , your half dead . no emotions . so when you finally reach, & meet me. here;s my soul; here ;s my used protection , here;s me to you . Though a mini shirt woulda attracted you more ; only for today ama be your whore.  i am Grae-jeaned Bella ; here have my used umBrELLA ."

[ rae wroted in 2008]

i mean i was lauqhinq at myself at how silly this shit is . i love it thouqh . i actually entered this free hand in to this Internet contest in hopes of winninq 500 $ for first place . compared to the shit ppl was submittinq , mine KILLED all . but i didn't even win 10th place , in comparison to the  two lines MEANINGLESS "haiku poems" , and shit ppl wrote . they wrote me back and said it was disqualified and " inappropriate for viewers " some shit alonq those lines . i mean i edited my words and place " better " synonyms but whatever , they can lick my ass clean . i think my shit was from SOULFUL heart .