desire , wants , and needs .

well damn bloqspot , it's really been ah minute !

kurrently playinq : " desire , wants , and needs " -- biq sean .

some updates :

birthday                march 14

stablization            march 22

destruction            march 13

on an admitt : around the birthday my mentality fell below levels . destruction . i had balled ; cried my heart out and lauqhed all in 7 hours ; and compressed back to low . and its funny how i never really felt " older " till today . and still feel hella weird sayinq am " 19 " . stablization . i look back at my hiqh school years ; and i had the hiqhest confidence ; no one ever f*cked with me . i sat crossed leqqed lauqhed at silly hoes tryinqa be me . and i never tore a liqament . now ; its like thee silliest bitches qet to me . quess i miss thee company . the bad apples in the ziploc made it feel homely .

promise thinqs will chanqe after this summer thouqh . [ everythinq ] . bekause this is what i live for ; this is what i die for ; this is what i stayed up every sinqle niqht for . this is what i waited my whole life for .

my desires : __ x ; lastinq <3 --  sick of the trial and error relationships ; i hope this lasts .

my wants  : avoid neqativity ; avoid pessimism ; face ah fact : i am 19 only once . forqet how ; what i did to put myself in misery .  live life like fuck what you thouqht . make ah career choice .

my needs : brinq up qrades ; deal with certain individuals on ah outside base level than deeper -- it hurt too many times . a flippin licensce ! realize : i am me today not who i was 3 years back . realize : it really is , easier done than said . convincinq . balance life out .  eat shit and think about success ; i done had enouqh stress .

" learned at ah younq aqe you qotta qrind for it ; we been waitinq all day & niqht for it [ seem like i been waitinq all life for it ] some niqqahs will take ah life for it . "