[ Where I am Currently At ]

I am currently still looking a job. These past few months, I have had the opportunity to battle and end-- resolve an inner turmoil within myself: I have the skills, but why can I not find a job? I let myself open to all kinds of negativity that only hurt me even when I did land interviews. Where I did not perform at my best.

This period, though, allowed me to dig deeper than myself and really immerse myself, within myself, to know myself and what I can change. It is true, that for a job, it may not be about your skills, but how well of person, character, and personality you are. No one wants to work with a negative person.

I know, and I have learned. I hope that you as a reader will forgive my negativity and past turmoil in thinking. A new page is to be written.

So I Went to See What the Hype Was About

I went to go see Black Panther, the movie. Man. Deep stuff. I am glad I went. At first, I was like it's just hype and nothing really. I was so wrong. This movie is awesome. It just made me hold my head up. Well-produced, well-scripted, great acting, well-everything. 

On a Personal Note Though

It's been really tough trying to find a job. One that pays decent, flexible, and actually, is a job. I feel like I have been applying to fake jobs. Jobs posted for the pleasure of feeling like there is a need. When there really isn't. I apply and never hear back. And then I wonder--whatever happened to that application dot dot dot question mark.

I am not sure what to do. Honestly. I would love a job from home. Where I am comfortable and always on time. But that's just me pouring what's in my mind, in an empty cup with a hole in the bottom--wondering if it will ever get filled. Probably not. 

[ What's Important ]

"Relate not your vision to your brothers, lest they arrange a plot against you."

Working on keeping to myself for a while. Human beings keep so much inside them. You don't know who's really there for you and who is not. At the end of the day, no one really is there for you 100%. Many tell tale signs, but my naive heart keeps mistaking foes for friends. Keep to yourself. And Importantly, DO not get angry. Don't lose it all in the moment. Be kind, regardless of their ill treatment. You are not losing anything; their true colors are coming into light.

Got the Madman Started

Currently Reflecting


Writing is often a hard thing to do. How do you even start? Where do you even start? What do you talk about? One of things that I recently heard from a writer is that, writing is kind of like composing music. You have this tune in your head, and--it-- you gotta put down all the right notes, play them to matches what's in your head. Like electrically connecting your mind to the paper that connects to other minds what your originally idea was.

What you compose on paper may never match what your mind envisioned--but that's what makes it all worthwhile--how can you spill out a piece in your mind for a reader or a listener to experience what was once encapsulated in your mind. 

Get the madman started!

Profound:

''At some point critics and writers become parodies of themselves.''

You Reelly Cant B Serious...

|CurrentlyReading: "U Can't Talk to UR Professor Like This: Formal Manners and Titles Aren't Elitist. They Ensure Respect for Everyone" By Molly Worthen

"But she ruefully recalled one young professor who made the mistake of telling the class that he didn’t care if they used his first name. “He didn’t realize how far it would go, and we all thought, this is awkward."

I recently read an article for one of my writing classes. It really drew me in that it discussed how many young people are slowly losing professionalism in addressing their professors and communicating way too casually. Even if a professor insists that you call him by his or her first name,  I still feel an incredible amount of anxiety to do just that. The article painted an interesting perspective to both sides of this trench on formality and professionalism. As a student, I couldn't imagine calling any one of my professors by their first name. On the other hand, the article discussed how some students feel like this is old-fashioned and that it their right to reserve the choice to able to decided whether that professor is worthy of being called one--not solely based on a paper that indicates their credentials. 

"The facile egalitarianism of the first-name basis can impede good teaching and mentoring, but it also presents a more insidious threat. It undermines the message that academic titles are meant to convey: esteem for learning. The central endeavor of higher education is not the pursuit of money or fame but knowledge. 'There needs to be some understanding that degrees mean something,' Professor Jackson-Brown said. 'Otherwise, why are we encouraging them to get an education?'"

You can read the full article here. 

Hideous Things

The two most hideous things in the world is insecurity and jealous. Both start with bad intentions.

Insecurity: 

Jealous:

Stop worrying so much about people. What people eat, what people drink and wear and how you have Like honestly, these people you will never meet again in your life. After these few years of high school or college, you wont see them again. And the nice thing is, if you do see them IT WONT MATTER lol because they will act like they don't know you anyways. Worry about how precious and short-lived your life is here on this earth. And make the most of it by worry about how you look infront of the One who made you. All these insecurities and jealousy problems are stirred by shaytan. Curse him and move on!

It's Been a Long Minute

Its been a long minute yawl. Just checking back seeing how long this blog has been going. I also super embarassed reading through the old posts. Oh goodness! How embarassing. But just wanted to get on here and just give a quick "hey." Well I am doing okay. 

It's Not Okay

It is not okay for you to call any woman in your life, cry baby and tell her she is overly jealous, crazy. It is NOT okay for you to scream at her like a dog. Stop and realize what your doing and why she is crying. You will realize its because of how bad you're treating her. Appreciate what you have and treat her like you promised.

The feeling of hopelessness. I learned today being honest and hopeful has consequences.  Being completely honest with someone who is not open-minded is a bad idea.

You know that feeling, when your heart feels so heavy it feels like its sitting in your stomach and being eaten - And all while, the person you care for so much is not giving a dimes' worth? Yeah, it feels just dandy.

Had a wonderful morning, and i hope i wake up like this every morning with a smile on my face <3.

Lately, every opportunity of me making any kind of money is down the drain. So i am working with a friend on building a site to sell circle lenses and clothing items and maybe eye make-up and such. I need to make at least 400$ by end of march in total.

from last night , i learned alot . today is a new day , and a new start for me . i wont let anyone or anything ruin me again .

Hello blogspot , i missed you .

I Love Livinq Life. I Am Happy.

' i love livinq life . i am Happy . ' Say it with me !



this ABSOLUTELY inspired me - i had to share .

and everybody else , thank you very litte .

the newly titled ' # 1 pet peeve ' .

Omg, girls that post nothing but pictures of their body parts. Your NOT just an ASSET,  don't let that be YOUR value. 

And on the other hand, boys with albums of their body parts? So that's all you are, a piece of ' stomach ' ? 

 um , *shrugs* OKAY.

when i am bummed out about beinq sinqle . . .

*pursed lips* WELL , HONESTLY here 's what i do .

i just go on facebook and look at all the we`re-back-on-again-and-off-again-the-next-day-I-HATE-HER\HIM-&-the-i-hope-she/he-qet-what-they-deserve-kanyewest-bittersweet-crazy-stuff-or-the-i-love-him-so-much-&-we-only-been-together-for-2weeks-dysfunctional-type     couple drama and i feel BETTER about beinq single =] .

LAUGH OUT LOUD .

with much masculinity , i am soooo proud . . .

of the woman i am becominq . HONESTLY , i really am .

LOL